Body full of holes, yet I never bled out. 

Each hole a carving out of every story, every person and every experience. 

Each hole an excavation of myself for a cause I thought to be greater.

Each hole a reminder of a mistake and of an accident.

Each hole a reminder of a lesson and of a truth.

Why won’t you move on from your mistakes?

Because I wear my mistakes and I am my mistakes.

Body full of holes yet I never bled out. 

 

I wear my mistakes yet you never see them because I am a body full of holes who never bleeds out.

I am my mistakes but I am not a mistake.

Louder and louder and louder and louder.

I say this to myself everyday as though saying this will fill my holes.

As thought saying this will heal me.

As though telling myself I’m not a mistake will fill me back up so I don’t worry about bleeding out.

As though every time I hear, “Fat”, “Ugly”, “Fat”, “Ugly” 

I should fill up a hole instead of letting a new one form.

Body full of holes, yet I never bled out.

 

I am not your cadaver.

You do not get to practice social skills on me. 

You don’t get to experiment heartbreak on me. 

You don’t get to practice throwing curve balls at me. 

But without permission, you still do.

As though you can’t hear me.

As though you are deaf. 

As though you don’t care. 

You dig new holes every single day. 

Body full of holes, yet I never bleed out.

 

Don’t ask me why I won’t forgive you.

Because you knew just how many holes I had yet you went ahead to make yours. 

You took parts of me because you were ashamed of your one hole. 

You forgot I was a body full of holes, yet I never bleed out. 

Don’t ask me why we’re not friends anymore. 

Your took the biggest piece. 

 

Body full of holes, yet I never bleed out.

I am strong, I am powerful and I am enough.

Holes and all. 

I am enough. 

Body full of holes, yet I never bled out.