Based on true events.
This was inspired by Sam Smith’s “Nothing left for you”.

 

i gave.
more than i had.
more than we could contain.
more than you needed.
i gave.

 

you took.
more than i offered.
more than we could fathom.
more than you could.
you took.

 

i emptied.
more than my love.
more than our reserve.
more than my self.
i emptied.

 

you wasted.
more than required.
more than you needed to.
more than i gave.
you wasted.

 

no more.

 

i’m leaving.
every piece of you.
every memory of us.
every hurt i have.
i’m leaving.

 

i’m gaining.
every thing i lost.
every thing i could have given.
every piece of me.
i’m gaining.

 

i’m becoming.
a woman of strength.
a woman of self preservation.
a woman of love.
i’m becoming.

 

 

 

 

i am.
the queen.
the ruler of her own empire.
the one that matters.
i am.

 

---

 

This story is fueled from an empty place. A place of giving and receiving, where receiving was scarce and giving was norm. I have found myself giving so much of myself to people and being the strong shoulder and the strong friend. Now, I’m done doing that. I’m tapping into an older part of me. The Tolu who gets up from tables where love is no love is not being served. The Tolu who puts herself first when she needs to. It definitely took a lot of myself to get to this place but I’m proud to say I’m finally here. This past week, I struggled with putting myself first because all my friends needed me but I just got to a point where I said, “You must gather your own sunshine for I have none to give thee”. Well, I typed it to them but I finally did. And nothing felt freer than letting go of the burdens I’ve been carrying for so long. It felt good to cry and to release. Hence the last stanza, I am becoming this person because I’m maintaining my newfound liberty, I need to be the ruler of my own empire. I also chose this pattern of having the first and last line of each stanza be the beginning of each of the three lines in the middle so it’s a sandwich. And because I like loaded sandwiches, I have the third line as the longest line. In the very beginning as well, I had a pattern of “me, us, you” and the “me” lines were the shortest because truly, the least love was given to me. I hope you enjoy reading this as much I enjoyed writing this.